Rihanna Woke Up as Britney Spears

Now that enough time has passed, Rihanna and her ridiculous hair are making the publicity rounds to open up about how Chris Brown attacked her last February, even giving a weepy interview to Diane Sawyer later this week. Because, of course she fucking is. Glamour also got in on a piece of the action:

Picture of Rihanna Woke Up as Britney Spears [source:webstersismybitch.com]

The 21 year old pop star told Glamour magazine in an interview posted online Tuesday that the police photo of her bruised face that was leaked to reporters added insult to injury. After the assault, she awoke to find helicopters circling her house and reporters swarming her street. "I felt like I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears," she said.

Rihanna said she didn't realize how much her decisions affected people she didn't know, like her many fans. She feels stronger, wiser and more aware now, she added. (Source)

You know who probably feels really good about that statement? Britney Spears. Yeah, I know what she was getting at, but still . Sure, Britney may have married a gold digging loser, dated a skeevy paparazzi, lost her kids and went crazycakes for awhile but she sure as hell didn't let no man put his hands on her. Not that any man would be dumb enough to try, mind you. That's why God invented hornet's nests and sticks. [source:webstersismybitch.com]